Another Flash served up ripe and ready for all y'all:
Adam didn’t have enough chairs. He had Mark and Haruka taking up the couch, Shinsuke on the floor with his chin resting on his knees, and Paul sitting on the only fold-out IKEA chair he had. Adam took to leaning up against the wall while Paul went over the brochure for the event.
“So who’s playing, anyway?” he asked the reader.
“Uh,” Paul muttered, going over the slip, “We’ve got Sexadecimal, Broken Nose, and D.J. Sitrep on Stage Five. Shibuya Murder Scene’s opening for The Further Colonels by the food stands. There’s a three-way rap battle happening between Slither, M.C. Shaz, and Hazardous Matt in the parking lot –”
This raised Mark’s eyebrow, “Did you say in the parking lot?”
“Yeah, says here they want to ‘keep it street’ and shit,” Paul said, passing the pamphlet to him and his girlfriend. While the couple poured over the pages, he turned his attention to the man on the wall. “Who else is coming?”
Adam shrugged, “Ben’s going to take Saturday off, but no guarantees with him. Carla, Linh and Mahmoud are still good to go, but they wanna bring Fat Johnny.”
“Does Fat Johnny have a cell phone now?” groaned Paul, reclining, “Because we can’t bring him if we can’t find him. Remember last time, at the beach? When he got arrested?”
Adam waved him off, “You let me handle Fat Johnny. And before you ask, I can’t invite Sylvia because she’s been weird lately.”
Mark shook his head while Haruka took a turn with the pamphlet, “She’s still hurting over what happened in Siberia. I –”
“Everything Lovely,” Haruka squeaked, running her palm against Mark’s chin, “I want to see, this gurupu.”
Paul stared, “Is gurupu some Japanese thing?”
“She means ‘group,’ guy,” Mark sneered, kissing his girlfriend’s hand.
The man rolled his eyes, “Accents.” Seconds later, a coke can bounced off of his knee and Haruka puffed up her cheeks.
“Alright, alright,” Adam groaned, looking at the man on the floor, “You bringing anyone, bro?”
“My girlfriend, she coming. She wants to see Hard Nox,” Shinsuke said, laughing, “So surprise, yeah? She like this kind violent girl.”
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeh?” Haruka hummed, surprise in her eyes, “Nanako is scary.”
Shinsuke laughed his high-pitched laugh again, “No way. She young gal, that why. And always go karaoke with this kind of crazy Chinese guys, yeah?”
“We need more people. Tell her to bring the Chinese guys, too,” said Adam, turning back to Paul, “Did you call Jeff?”
Paul gave a tsk. “I sent him a text yesterday, and he called me back a minute later.”
“What’d he say?”
“‘Stop texting me, you colon scavenger,’ and then he hung up.”
Scratching his nose, Adam scowled, “That doesn’t sound like Jeff.”
“No,” Mark said, dialling a number on his phone, “No, it sounds just like him. Here, let me try.”
As Mark went on his mission, Shinsuke called out to the others, “Listen, I gonna bring Darren, then he gonna bring Andy and Claire.”
“Eeeeeh,” whined Haruka, “Noooo, Claire so mean.”
“What’s wrong with Claire?” Paul shot at her, “She’s better than fucking Jeff. At least she didn’t ditch you and Mark at a restaurant without paying the bill.”
Slumping forward, she twisted her mouth, “Eeeeh, datte. She thinks I am hooker.”
“Everybody who isn’t Haruka shut up. I got Jeff and Leila,” Mark chimed in, pressing a button on his phone and aiming it at the crowd. “You’re on speakerphone, bud.”
“Who else is there?” a voice asked in a dismissive tone.
Mark scratched his nose, “Uh, me, Haruka, Shinsuke, Adam, and Paul –”
“Ah, yes, the slave to the machine. Hurry up, we’re watching Doctor Who.”
“Hi!” his girlfriend called out from the other side of whatever room they sat in.
Mark leaned in, “We were wondering if –”
“Ha!” Jeff cackled, “Matt Smith said a funny. Sorry, what?”
Paul rubbed his eyes and growled, “Just tell us if you’re coming to Ground Sound this weekend, you fucker.”
Indignantly, Jeff scoffed, “Well I’m not now, meanie. Do you know how many cherubs died because of your cussing?”
“Dude, come on,” pleaded Adam, “The Further Colonels are gonna be there.”
Something dropped on the other end. “You lie,” hissed Jeff.
Mark nodded, “Shibuya Murder Scene’s opening for them, too. It’s gonna be pretty cool.”
A sputtering noise grunted at him from the other side, “Do not speak of Shibuya Murder Scene and The Further Colonels like they’re garage bands from Utah!” the man snapped, “This is going to be like Mary Magdalene opening for the Norse gods! I’m in!”
“Who is playing?” they heard Leila ask.
“Shibuya Murder Scene,” Jeff responded.
“They’re opening for The Further Colonels.”
There came the sound of a hundred-and-ten pound Persian girl scrambling over the couch, seizing the phone and yelling “WE’LL BE THERE!” before hanging up.
I know what you're thinking: Oh Fuck It's Them. And yep, you're right. I thought I was done with Jeff and the rest of them but the scene just wrote itself. So what happens next? I dunno. Come back in two weeks to find out, because I'm taking next Monday off for Thanksgiving.
See you next time,
EDIT: May 23, 2012. EDITS!