I trust you've been well.
WELL, TOO BAD SALLY, BECAUSE THINGS JUST GOT WORSE.
Remember when I said I'd take the month off to do some soul searching and get involved in my community. Guess what didn't happen: THAT SHIT. While you were sipping your tea and talking about gas prices, I was in an undisclosed facility in Nevada getting augmented with nanomachines designed to look and act like Charles Bronson. That's right, suckas, MY BODY IS FILLED WITH TINY CRIMINALS and I'm going to be unleashing them IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've got ideas. I hope they're good ones, but either way, they're hitting the web soon. Check back soon to see for yourself, if you like. It's good to be back.
See you next time,